Starting over at 35!

August is my birth month

Its also the anniversary of two major life changes that happened at the same time – I had a craniotomy, and 2 weeks later, we found out that I was surprise pregnant with my youngest son and he was around 28 weeks gestation.

I find it a time of great reflection, the summer is drawing to a close and we are on the heels of the autumn’s change: school starts up, the weather cools, and nights are longer.

Autumn is my favorite season for a lot of reasons, and using this time to reset, re-establish routines and life’s rhythms is just one reason this season is great.

35 is also a season of shifting and changing. Many people find shifts around children being school-aged. Peri-menopause may be on the horizon for some. Astrologically you are past your Saturn return stage, you are starting a new cycle of 7 years.

Over the last several years I have gone through a period of reckoning. It started around 32/33, in an event I have dubbed my “whole life implosion”. I do not think there was a single area of my life that did not get shaken up, flipped around, and razed to the ground. It felt deep, dark, and very lonely.

After awhile, I started referring to this life shake up as “my chrysalis moment”. I had no idea how long it was going to last, or what all it would entail. I just knew that I had to be broken down like a caterpillar turning into goo in order to grow, evolve, and re-emerge as the next version of me.

Over the past few weeks, I have started having moments that evoked the imagery of birth pangs. Moments of clarity, of pieces slotting into place. It was heady, and exciting. I thankfully knew enough to temper myself and not go all in and get swept up with the tides. I also had some really great women in my life that helped anchor me and remind me of the work I have done.

I am not sure if these are just Braxton-Hicks or proper birth pangs, but this rebirthing is happening soon, whether I am ready or not. And this space is where I am chronicling my starting-over journey. Thank you for joining me.