August 21st, Day 2
“Quiet is peace. Tranquility. Quiet is turning down the volume knob on life. Silence is pushing the off button. Shutting it down. All of it. – Amir”
I was thinking that I had not done much in the way of Wild Woman today, I spent a lot of time resting and allowing my mind and body to recover after much stress the last several weeks.
I have had to work on accepting this part of life, allowing time for rest, accepting the end of autumn and start of winter. Even our fields have a season of fallow. So this work I would argue is, in fact, Wild Woman work.
The day was calm and full of things that brought me joy and contentment.
I spent some time tonight talking to a good friend about my discovery of Disability Instagram and my excited feelings around Disabled Models. These were women (and men and non-binary people) who were living boldly.
While there was some excitement and other positive feelings there, I was struggling with some other big feelings.
I asked my friend, “why is it that I cannot be proud of the fact that I lived? Why can I not just accept that my body went through literal hell?”
And my friend responded with “Trauma does not resolve itself so easily”.
Y’all I swear I had a huge light bulb moment. I hadn’t been owning my story. I hadn’t taken what happened to me and applied it to how it impacted my life.
How can I accept myself fully, and live out-loud and authentically, if I don’t own all of my story and work through my trauma about this big life altering surgery.
I am learning that oftentimes, a lot of the work comes to me in moments of stillness and quiet. When I let myself be calm and listen, the Universe finds a way to share life lessons with me.
I started my Wild Woman Journey here.